Butterfly Picnic
Today is the SickKids Butterfly Picnic for families that have had children pass. I haven’t always gone to it, but I am going today. It is actually a really beautiful celebration. They do a really good job of having activities that people can participate in and have an abundance of food. What I like about it is that we are all together for a really sad reason and yet there is some joy there. It truly fills my heart.
But it is also really hard. I feel my singleness acutely when I go to events like this as I am surrounded by families and couples. I long to have someone’s hand to hold onto, someone I can sit on a blanket with and feel their love surround me.
The only reason I go is because the actual butterfly release is so beyond beautiful. Each family (or singleton) gets a butterfly to release, and it is truly such a sweet moment. These baby butterflies slowly wake up when we open their small envelopes, and you just watch and hold them until they are ready to fly away. Last time, my butterfly wanted to stay on my arm, possibly thinking my colourful flower tattoos are the real deal. It is so special. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it.
I think the magic of the butterfly release is that it mimics the journey we take with our children. They emerge into the world small and vulnerable creatures with the type of beauty that is indescribable. Every second they spend with us feels like a miracle as we watch them slowly become acclimatized to the world. Some of us only get moments with them. Others might get many minutes (equal to years) but eventually they all spread their wings and fly to places unknown.
Even with the difficulties of the day and the sadness that surrounds me, I know I am one of the lucky ones. Because I got to hold that butterfly for a few moments and there is nothing more precious than a butterfly. It reminds me that despite everything, I am capable of giving and receiving great amounts of love. And just like my butterfly, my Daisy, is there somewhere in the unknown, surrounding me with love.
